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On Friday, August 5th, 2011, I signed a paper saying I would voluntarily run for 13."some odd" miles. What the heck was I thinking?

Saturday, September 3, 2011

Step, Toot, Step, Toot, Step, Toot

Tonight's run was hilarious on so many levels.  First of all, it should have happened at 7am this morning.  This would have been my second group run, but I bailed.  I'm cutting myself a little break because my mother in law has been in the ICU with severe bilateral pneumonia for the last three days. She got to a regular room today and is doing really well, thank GOD!  Thank you friends for all your prayers and thoughts for the last couple days, I can't tell you how much they were appreciated. Aaron and I have been spending quite a lot of time at the hospital as you can guess.

Anyway, I digress.  I was SUPPOSED to go at 7am, but I bailed after my alarm went off at 6 and I couldn't get my crusty eyes open.  I spent the rest of the day shopping for work clothes, visiting the MIL at the hospital, and then buying a new television.  Probably the last thing we need.  Well, I got all agitated when we got home past dark and said I HAVE to run my three miles tonight. I can't go without it.  I bailed this morning, but I have to get it done.  So I put my clothes on, marched outside and began a 3.1 mile run in...my....driveway.  I measured it.  My driveway is .06KM long from garage to street.  Think about how many times I had to run back and forth from the garage to the street, street to the garage...over and over and over.  In the dark.

I had my Nike + iPod thingy in my ear cheering me on at every 1K, and that was really helpful. Here is a little trip down Lori's driveway run.

.5K - Large bug flies in my mouth. I have to stop for a second to spit it out and keep from gagging and puking in the driveway.  Wash my mouth out with water and keep going
1K - Dang, our garage needs a new coat of paint.  I sure can see where I backed into the garage door with the light reflecting that way
1.5K - Do you know what happens when you eat a burger with cheese and onions on it one and a half hours before you run? It sounds a little something like, "toot, step, toot, step, toot, step".  Come ON, I'm not the only one this has happened to.  Don't groan.  Admit it...at least to yourself, you don't have to comment or anything.  At least I'm honest.
2K - I begin talking to myself.  "C'mon Lori, don't bail. If you can't make it 5k tonight, you won't be able to make a half marathon in December. You CAN do this, keep going."  Yes, it was out loud.
2.5 K - I'm halfway there.  My legs are finally starting to numb up and lose that dead weight feeling and my shins are loosening up and starting to feel a little better.  This strange ice cold feeling starts needling it's way down my legs and making me  feel really tired.  I've never had this feeling before, but it doesn't hurt, it just feels weird. So I fight through it. And walk quite a bit at this point.
3K - My neighbor across the street comes home, backs his F250 into his driveway and as he sat with his headlights shining across to my driveway blinding me I imagined him wondering, "What in the blazes is that crazy lady doing?".  At this point my lungs feel about three sizes bigger than normal and yet completely useless.
3.5K - I realize that my ipod must not have synced correctly.  So far I've listened to three artists.  Enya, Big & Rich, and Keb Mo.  Interestingly enough, I enjoyed running to Enya much more than Big and Rich.  Keb Mo was just okay.  But it's weird listening to Orinoco Flow and feeling motivated to keep going.  Sure...whatever.
4K - I'm getting pumped about being almost done, and I run to the road yet again...this time, I hear a rustling in the leaves in the ditch at the end of my driveway.  I almost jump out of my spandex.  This shortens the distance of my driveway run from .06 to about .04. I will not be running NEAR the leaves.  God help me.
4.5K - I'm pretty sure I'm losing my mind.  I hear things everywhere. I'm starting to think that white van that just drove down my road is a kidnapper waiting for me to run to the road for the 250th time.  I'm almost certain there is a stalker in the bushes next to the garage.  What if there is a skunk out here? What if there is a pack of coyotes in my yard waiting for lap 1000 to attack me and rip my blubbery body to shreds?  Okay, time to focus on something else.
5k - Crazy neighbor lady is jumping around with her arms in the air shouting, "I made it....I made it....I made it...I made it!"

Can you believe I made it????????


Jennifer A. said...

You are lucky... it seems my "Step, Toot, Step" only happens when there are other people around...

Keep it up, Lori - you are an inspiration!

mom said...

I love you. You are a fantastic woman.

mom said...

Jenn, what the heck are you doing up at 4:39 AM